While the blogging has met with minor hiatus due to the holiday season, I assure you that we are still working hard towards our goals and learning many things.
Here are a few of my holiday inspired insights as they may or may not relate to bicycling, fundraising, adventuring, loving and living.
1. Things happen for a reason, eh? I'm not a religious person and in matters of fate and destiny I am more like Season 2 Jack than John Locke, but I can say that after 25 years of living I am convinced that things happen for a reason. Of course, I think this because in an order to create my own meaning and purpose I search for and define those reasons after the fact of the actions. One of the more recent joys of my life has been giving into patience and allowing the impact and meaning of moments, actions, human connections, and total coincidences, reveal themselves over time and re-reval themselves again and again as I meet with new phases of life.
2. Fear is evil. Compassion and love, I think, have one natural enemy and that is fear. The only times I have ever hesitated when helping others is when I have been full of fear. Yeah, so that's over with. I have learned, in the face of some of my worst fears, I'm still okay, intact, solid, strong and capable. So bring it on life. Show me what you got.
3. Cycling shorts are pretty much the greatest (nay: sexiest) things on the planet next to cycling shoes. I've been reading the blogs of the other AIDS/Life Cycle participants and have noticed that this is a post all of them make at some point. Much like when I first realized I could put oreos on ice cream; it's a moment of pure bliss when we realize something we love to gets even better. Trust me. This butt pad business . . . genius. 5 minutes of internet searching has yet to yield the original inventor of such an idea . . . so I'll just throw a general thank you to those responsible for the comfort of my posterior.
4. Most important . . . . I love this life not for what I do, where I go or the pretty things I get to see (currently a chilly Colorado sunrise delicately and poignantly back lighting a row of bare trees with a random assortment of waking birds). I love this life for the people in it with me. I am surrounded by the most amazing and inspiring family and friends, most of whom have no idea how great they are. THANK YOU to everyone for all your love and support over the years. THANK YOU to everyone who is helping me out on this cycling, fundraising journey.
AND A HUGE THANK YOU and shout out to all the people who have participated and donated that I don't even know. I hope that some day I get to meet you face to face, hug you, buy you coffee and sit and find out who you are, what inspires you to be so generous, and how I might be able to one day repay the generosity you have all shown to me!
Time for me to head to early morning spinning class . . . getting in all the high altitude training I can.
Happy New Year Everyone! Here's to a year full of living, learning and loving.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Los Angeles is a special place
Most days I really enjoy my 9 mile round trip ride to work. Being on a bicycle somehow allows me to feel like I have a little more control in and a little deeper connection to Los Angeles. If you've spent time in LA you know how challenging it can be to whittle down the expanse of stimuli and filth into something manageable and meaningful and into which you can contribute.
Riding a bike does this for me for a couple reasons:
1. It automatically sets some limits. I can't get to west side parties in a reasonable time frame and I certainly can't get there clean and without that sweat smell . . . so I go to local places and contribute to the local economy of my neighborhood. Incidentally, I live in Westlake - a 2.7 sq mile area with an estimated population of about 120,000 people, 73.4% Latino, average household income just under $27K annually (all this according to the 2000 census of course, so take the stats for what they are worth).
2. Biking puts me face to face with more people whom I would not normally talk to, (e.g., people wandering around the streets of LA, homeless folks, kids walking to school, street vendors, small hole-in-the-wall shop owners, people on their way to work just like me, my neighbors and fellow community members). My bike rides are my way of getting to know them.
3. I find myself caring, for the first time, about the quality of the roads and exactly how my tax paying dollars are contributing to the upkeep of the concrete jungle.
So - all this to say that along with the good there is bad. Sometimes it's a battle to get home without getting yelled at by angry drivers or almost run over by people who don't look left. Last night was something new though. I witnessed a pregnant woman get hit by a man on the street and then chase down a few of LAPDs finest on foot to ensure that they go rushing off after her assailant. I know nothing more about the incident, other than that it was a sad thing to witness and if I was in a car I would have driven by the whole thing, unaware. While I wish it didn't happen, I've never seen a woman run down a cop car before and I'll always think of her as a superwoman.
Riding a bike does this for me for a couple reasons:
1. It automatically sets some limits. I can't get to west side parties in a reasonable time frame and I certainly can't get there clean and without that sweat smell . . . so I go to local places and contribute to the local economy of my neighborhood. Incidentally, I live in Westlake - a 2.7 sq mile area with an estimated population of about 120,000 people, 73.4% Latino, average household income just under $27K annually (all this according to the 2000 census of course, so take the stats for what they are worth).
2. Biking puts me face to face with more people whom I would not normally talk to, (e.g., people wandering around the streets of LA, homeless folks, kids walking to school, street vendors, small hole-in-the-wall shop owners, people on their way to work just like me, my neighbors and fellow community members). My bike rides are my way of getting to know them.
3. I find myself caring, for the first time, about the quality of the roads and exactly how my tax paying dollars are contributing to the upkeep of the concrete jungle.
So - all this to say that along with the good there is bad. Sometimes it's a battle to get home without getting yelled at by angry drivers or almost run over by people who don't look left. Last night was something new though. I witnessed a pregnant woman get hit by a man on the street and then chase down a few of LAPDs finest on foot to ensure that they go rushing off after her assailant. I know nothing more about the incident, other than that it was a sad thing to witness and if I was in a car I would have driven by the whole thing, unaware. While I wish it didn't happen, I've never seen a woman run down a cop car before and I'll always think of her as a superwoman.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Looks like the guy who did this last used too much lube. - Mr. Bike Guy
Might as well just admit right now that I have a childish sense of humor and live in the state of awkward about 92% of the time. As a result, I giggle at immature things, can't always express myself correctly, and really appreciate when other people are also awkward. Judge me if you must.
Bike Shopping:
I purchased my new bike this weekend. Like any good shopping trip that I'm involved in, I ended up in a pile of misery and tears - atop, at least, a new bike.
As luck would have it, I ended up with a sales tech, Mr. Bike Guy, who just graduated from USC (Electrical Engineering) and started working at the bike shop less than a week ago. He was nervous and awkward and cute in an EE sort of way and it made my day. It also took me 4 hours to test 4 bikes. Unfortunately, it only took me 5 minutes to learn that he has a GF.
At least we learned that the bike shop is a great place to hang out and watch attractive men search for tight clothing, pumps, and something the in-the-know-ers call butt butter. :)
Future me: "Uh yeah, I know it's a new bike but it just keeps breaking. I don't know what's wrong with it, I'm just glad you folks are always here to help me fix it. Also I'm out of butt butter."
Here's the thing about wearing make up and cute outfits to try and get discounts on a new bike . . . it only works if six year old girls don't make statements like "Mommy, that girl has the same helmet I have!" For public record, I love you pink flower print helmet, and I wont give you up just to look my age.
If that wasn't bad enough, a number of people had to offer me counsel on vanity, which is generally something I like to pretend I don't have. That is to say, I found two bikes that I really loved. 1 was a pretty red color, close enough that no one would challenge my undying commitment to USC football. 1 was light blue, a hideous, ugly, evil, stupid, pathetic, unfun, full of hate, color that can only suggest allegiances to horrible bRuins. 1 was 25% the cost of the other 1.
Enter anxiety and panic. I can spend money like a champ when I'm trying to stuff material things into the cracks of my soul but when I'm otherwise emotionally stable, I send my spare change into my investment accounts with a great deal of joy. I'm a saver by nature. (Read: Instead of retiring into a retirement community and maybe eventually a nursing home, I am setting myself up to retire into a colony of attractive young males who, for tips, will rub my feet and paint my toe nails).
Enter dilemma. Buy the more expensive pretty bike. Or buy the bike of the devil and save the cash for something more important than paint.
Enter tears. I chose the blue bike because I feel like saving the money and not admitting such vanity was the right thing to do. I wept because spending money is hard for me. I wept because I felt like a terrible Trojan. I wept because the light blue hues were making my eyes bleed.
I bought my new bike 4 days ago and already three people have told me to send it back because it's tainted.
Enter resolve. I absolutely love my new bike. I think it's the greatest thing I own right now and I'm stoked to get out and ride it to some place that isn't work. It needs some sticker love or a USC horn or something before I can go riding on the west side, but we're going to get along fine.
On Monday I went back to the shop to get fitted and pick out pedals and shoes. While I will mostly protest being a girly girl my entire life, I have to admit, I got freakishly excited when I got the shoes. Sigh. Shoes.
Bike Shopping:
I purchased my new bike this weekend. Like any good shopping trip that I'm involved in, I ended up in a pile of misery and tears - atop, at least, a new bike.
As luck would have it, I ended up with a sales tech, Mr. Bike Guy, who just graduated from USC (Electrical Engineering) and started working at the bike shop less than a week ago. He was nervous and awkward and cute in an EE sort of way and it made my day. It also took me 4 hours to test 4 bikes. Unfortunately, it only took me 5 minutes to learn that he has a GF.
At least we learned that the bike shop is a great place to hang out and watch attractive men search for tight clothing, pumps, and something the in-the-know-ers call butt butter. :)
Future me: "Uh yeah, I know it's a new bike but it just keeps breaking. I don't know what's wrong with it, I'm just glad you folks are always here to help me fix it. Also I'm out of butt butter."
Here's the thing about wearing make up and cute outfits to try and get discounts on a new bike . . . it only works if six year old girls don't make statements like "Mommy, that girl has the same helmet I have!" For public record, I love you pink flower print helmet, and I wont give you up just to look my age.
If that wasn't bad enough, a number of people had to offer me counsel on vanity, which is generally something I like to pretend I don't have. That is to say, I found two bikes that I really loved. 1 was a pretty red color, close enough that no one would challenge my undying commitment to USC football. 1 was light blue, a hideous, ugly, evil, stupid, pathetic, unfun, full of hate, color that can only suggest allegiances to horrible bRuins. 1 was 25% the cost of the other 1.
Enter anxiety and panic. I can spend money like a champ when I'm trying to stuff material things into the cracks of my soul but when I'm otherwise emotionally stable, I send my spare change into my investment accounts with a great deal of joy. I'm a saver by nature. (Read: Instead of retiring into a retirement community and maybe eventually a nursing home, I am setting myself up to retire into a colony of attractive young males who, for tips, will rub my feet and paint my toe nails).
Enter dilemma. Buy the more expensive pretty bike. Or buy the bike of the devil and save the cash for something more important than paint.
Enter tears. I chose the blue bike because I feel like saving the money and not admitting such vanity was the right thing to do. I wept because spending money is hard for me. I wept because I felt like a terrible Trojan. I wept because the light blue hues were making my eyes bleed.
I bought my new bike 4 days ago and already three people have told me to send it back because it's tainted.
Enter resolve. I absolutely love my new bike. I think it's the greatest thing I own right now and I'm stoked to get out and ride it to some place that isn't work. It needs some sticker love or a USC horn or something before I can go riding on the west side, but we're going to get along fine.
On Monday I went back to the shop to get fitted and pick out pedals and shoes. While I will mostly protest being a girly girl my entire life, I have to admit, I got freakishly excited when I got the shoes. Sigh. Shoes.
Monday, December 7, 2009
"We ride because some people cannot afford to survive" - Tom, Positive Pedalers
Think about that for two seconds. Some people, who have the will, strength, determination and desire to survive are simply stuck in a simple system where pills = $$$ & no $$$ = no pills & no pills = no survival. That blows. So we're riding because we can raise $$$ to get good people health care they desperately need to live. Bottom line.
Tom from Positive Pedalers gave a quick and powerful speech last night at the ALC Holiday Party. HIV Positive for 25 years, Tom and PosPeds are working to end the stigma of HIV and support survivors and survivor attitudes by putting themselves out there as HIV positive, healthy, people. Thanks Tom!
I'll be the first to admit that I signed up for ALC for selfish reasons, namely to find a community and perhaps a husband. Ok, husband is strong. Man meat? Maybe I mean man meat.
It took all of two weeks for those reasons to dissipate into thin air and not just because all of the delicious man meat is not available to the ladies of the species.
ALC is clearly about something much bigger than scaring off potential mates, having fun and sharing some laughs. Sunny and I have barely begun to uncover all the rewards of this adventure.
I'm still going to look for a husband along the way because, quite frankly, I'm always looking for a husband. However, finding a straight male that is both unattached and interested is going to prove challenging. In other words, Sunny and I look more like a couple of fly lesbians than a couple of husband seekers. How great is it to be in an environment where people just automatically assume you're dating the sweet chick you showed up to the party with? It's great. But it's also not going to yield husbands, at least at first.
This brings me to our first ***fundrasing opportunity***. Betting is now open on the number of times that Sunny and I are directly asked if we are dating, together, a couple, or otherwise engaged with one another as lovers. The current tally = 1. Place your bets and those that come closest to the actual tally as of June 12, 2010 will win a sweet prize. I'm going to throw out my random guess and we can use that as the over under, just for fun. 63. Have fun.
So - we're riding bikes eh? We showed up at the holiday party because they were raffling off a number of wonderful things, like massages, dinners, golf, pleasure, custom bike paint jobs, chiropractic care, and three new road bikes. Why buy when you can win? Instead of winning bikes, Sunny scored a massage. Now, we're in the market for sweet rides so stay tuned (that's a bike pun, get it? also, I'm not a dork) for the next adventure: Bike Shopping.
Some quick shout outs to Melissa who hooked us up with her riding group Shifting Gears Cycling; Tristana and Laura (the first ones to ask us if we were together) who love Brett Favre, have family in Sunny's hometown, are also first time riders, and have a 2 year old son; Mel, who called me a dork two minutes after meeting me (how do people know?!?); and Ginger (pictured) who took the time not only to look fabulous but to thank us for participating and give us some great advice on fundraising.
hugs and love
Note: photo of ALC Santa by Stanley Appleman
Friday, December 4, 2009
In the beginning there was . . .
Sunshine (a.k.a. Caitlin) and Criqet (a.k.a. Sarah) are two pseudo-fly ladies, living in Los Angeles, lost and looking for something productive to do with their lives. By day they are mere mortals, a project manager and production manager respectively, with common lives, desires, fears, hunger pains, and (shall we say) modest shoe collections. BUT BY NIGHT they are dedicated do-gooders, profoundly thankful to be healthy and able to devote time and energy to something bigger than them, bigger than you and bigger than I.
It all started on a brisk fall evening in Los Angeles. On a whim, our fearless duo ventured into Hollywood looking for the AIDS/Life Cycle information meeting. Tempted first by invites into a improv class from Mr. Handsome Brown Eyes and second by an art gallery opening featuring Mr. Delicious Free Food and his brother, Sir Red Wine, the ladies still managed to find the meeting.
There, they were introduced to a world of wonderful people devoted to a wonderful cause. AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
In the next 6 months, join Sunshine and Criqet (pronounced 'cricket') as they work together to help put an END to AIDS by raising money and awareness, culminating their efforts, time, energy, sweat, and mostly Sarah's tears, in a 545 mile bike ride from San Fransisco to Los Angeles in support of all the lives lost to AIDS, impacted by AIDS, and fighting against AIDS.
It all started on a brisk fall evening in Los Angeles. On a whim, our fearless duo ventured into Hollywood looking for the AIDS/Life Cycle information meeting. Tempted first by invites into a improv class from Mr. Handsome Brown Eyes and second by an art gallery opening featuring Mr. Delicious Free Food and his brother, Sir Red Wine, the ladies still managed to find the meeting.
There, they were introduced to a world of wonderful people devoted to a wonderful cause. AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
In the next 6 months, join Sunshine and Criqet (pronounced 'cricket') as they work together to help put an END to AIDS by raising money and awareness, culminating their efforts, time, energy, sweat, and mostly Sarah's tears, in a 545 mile bike ride from San Fransisco to Los Angeles in support of all the lives lost to AIDS, impacted by AIDS, and fighting against AIDS.
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