Let's just say that it was a beautiful day in Los Angeles when I was out riding last Saturday.
I started from my humble abode in DTLA and headed west on 6th st.
For the first several miles 6th street is all piss and potholes but after that you enter the wonderful land of trees, mansions, manicured lawns and synagogues.
Wait. Back up. I guess I should mention that I intended to get on my bike at 7am and was well on my way until I realized that my helmet was still at work. So I really started out by driving to Starbucks, then work, then home.
And then. I really should mention that I actually made a critical newbie mistake. I forgot to wear sunglasses. Which means that about two miles in I had a new friend, Herbert, in the form of a little gnat living behind my eyeball where I apparently forced him to go after he so carefully flew into my cornea (can you even do that? I don't know. I just say things.)
So really, I was riding through piss and potholes and really really really big mansions with a bug in my eye, one functional contact, no depth perception and a slightly faltering will.
Everything got better though when I started smelling all the fragrant flowers waking up to the day.
I'm not totally fond of biking by myself, but I do really appreciate the time that it affords one to just think. And because I'm me, I also talk to myself . . . out loud . . . at stop signs . . . where people in cars stare at me. During this particular ride I was practicing answering job interview questions about my qualifications as a zip line operator for the Catalina Tourism Board. As if.
So yeah. 6th runs into San Vincente which I took to La Cienega which I took to Beverly which I took to Little Tokyo.
Huge win for the day - I heard a pretty consistent click in my stride (I don't know what bikers call it) and actually got off my bike and inspected my tire for damage. Found a nice shard of someone's Newcastle bottle working its way into my tire. I felt accomplished and only have Bike Tech 101 to thank! Take that flat tire!
Huge fail for the day - As per usual, I was calmly stopped at a stop light at 5th and Grand, unclipped on my left and carefully trying to avoid a construction worker and his man hole (hehe) when I lost my balance and well, fell. It went like this:
My Brain "Hey Sarah, sup?"
Me "Hi Brain, just waiting for this light to change, about to shower, thinking about cheese, wondering where Sunny is, thinking about whisking myself away to Catalina for the summer . . ."
My Brain "You've lost your balance"
Me "No way I'm totally focused on not falling . . . fuck. Panic. Try to unclip right leg. Fail. Panic and flail. Succeed. Kick construction workers ladder (which he is not on). Ladder falls over onto Leg. Ow. Bike falls on ground. Handle bars turn. Face plants into handle bars. Like the kind of face plant where your nose (the bottom part) takes a handle bar to the face and starts bleeding everywhere and hurts like an *expletive* (remember, I was stopped when I fell) and then your chin his the ground or the ladder you don't really remember. and then you just lay there because you know there is a construction worker standing over you and you really really really just want him not to be there.
Construction Worker "Hey I hope you're okay"
Me "Hey I hope you can move this ladder off of my leg also I hope you're not real"
My Brain "I told you so"
So. I walked a few blocks and contemplated how to put my bike back together. Called Sunny who told me to be careful (Thanks, Dear). Contemplated going to the hospital but couldn't think of any good lies to tell the Dr. if he ended up being totally hott . . . got back on my bike and rode (slowly) home.
Along the way I passed the first few in line for the Grilled Cheese Invitational (whom I would be joining shortly) and everything was fine. Except my face, which is broken.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Dirty hands for Dirty Minds: Meeting the Bike Techs
So in place of bike riding this weekend, I spent a rainy Monday in class.
Bike Tech 101.
This class was being offered by the fab folks at I Martin Bikes on Beverly Blvd. I fell in love with just about everyone there instantly. As suspected originally, bike shops are crawling with really attractive, fit, straight men - many of whom have very dirty greasy man hands from geeking out in the shop and fixing bikes all day long.
I can not really express enough how amazingly sexy good man hands can be - hands that are strong and can fix things around the house - hands that are a little bit rough and calloused - hands that are tan and yummy . . .
So, I'm enjoying this.
On top of the hands around this place, our Bike Tech 101 instructor looks exactly like Daniel Faraday (it's a LOST thing, you'd get it if you were in "the know"). LOST lookalike is like and extra 20 points on the cute-o-meter.
So, now I'm invested in listening to what he has to say.
And I quote:
"I cannot overstate how important it is to lube up before you ride. I could literally talk to you all day long about lube. I can tell you how to pick a good lube, apply often and stick with your lube of choice. Don't mix lubes because you might get a chemical reaction you were not expecting. You can over-lube so it's okay to be conservative. You don't need to lube your nipples but you can rub lemon pledge on them once a week or so."
So, now I'm looking at him like "If you say lube one more time I'm going to throw down." I suppose he may have caught me giving him that look because he was hard pressed to make eye contact for the rest of the night.
On the plus side, he did sell me on some lube.
Lube. (hehehe)
Yup. Bike Tech 101 is awesome.
Here are a few more things that I learned that are useful bits of info. I'm writing them down so I remember them since I need to take care of a fair bit of this before my ride. It's more practical and less entertaining, so now you've been warned.
Schedule a tune up around May 1st - ride at least two more times before THE ride to make sure everything works great.
Find out what kind of spokes I have and if I need spares.
Investigate Cleat covers or replacement cleats. The cement chews them up and they don't work.
CLEAN MY BIKE like once a week or more. *Note, I've never cleaned my bike so I was feeling like a douche this entire lesson.
- important things about cleaning your bike: let it dry after you wash it. don't just LUBE up right away. don't spray with high pressure hose. most of your bike doesn't like water. never use WD40 on your bike. it's evil and will actually kill things you need to work. mechanics can tell and they will make fun of you. and they're usually good looking do you don't want them to make fun of you.
- clean your bike on the ride. this cuts down trips to the mechanic station and the mechanics will love you for it. of course, they wont know you at all if you never go to the station but they love you a lot more if you go there with smart questions and real problems, not to have your chain lubed, your tires pumped or your shaft washed (literally, not metaphorically).
PUMP UP YOUR TIRES
Low PSI is the number one cause of flat tires. The number two cause is hand pumps and idiots who break valves by using their hand pumps. HA! Who would do that? *Note: me
CO2 pumps are the way to go. Why? Apparently they fill your tire up to the perfect PSI. *Note: Lance Armstrong could not figure out how to use a CO2 pump so he just rode 10 miles on a flat tire to win some race recently. Bikers = Sexy.
FIXING FLATS
This part of class was a demonstration and I learned a bit more about the proper way to fix flats and pump up my tires. If you ever want a demonstration, I have to practice a bunch in the next few weeks and I'd be happy to show you. I'm also told I should get a spare tire just to make my life easier on the ride, should my tire get destroyed.
Bike Tech 101.
This class was being offered by the fab folks at I Martin Bikes on Beverly Blvd. I fell in love with just about everyone there instantly. As suspected originally, bike shops are crawling with really attractive, fit, straight men - many of whom have very dirty greasy man hands from geeking out in the shop and fixing bikes all day long.
I can not really express enough how amazingly sexy good man hands can be - hands that are strong and can fix things around the house - hands that are a little bit rough and calloused - hands that are tan and yummy . . .
So, I'm enjoying this.
On top of the hands around this place, our Bike Tech 101 instructor looks exactly like Daniel Faraday (it's a LOST thing, you'd get it if you were in "the know"). LOST lookalike is like and extra 20 points on the cute-o-meter.
So, now I'm invested in listening to what he has to say.
And I quote:
"I cannot overstate how important it is to lube up before you ride. I could literally talk to you all day long about lube. I can tell you how to pick a good lube, apply often and stick with your lube of choice. Don't mix lubes because you might get a chemical reaction you were not expecting. You can over-lube so it's okay to be conservative. You don't need to lube your nipples but you can rub lemon pledge on them once a week or so."
So, now I'm looking at him like "If you say lube one more time I'm going to throw down." I suppose he may have caught me giving him that look because he was hard pressed to make eye contact for the rest of the night.
On the plus side, he did sell me on some lube.
Lube. (hehehe)
Yup. Bike Tech 101 is awesome.
Here are a few more things that I learned that are useful bits of info. I'm writing them down so I remember them since I need to take care of a fair bit of this before my ride. It's more practical and less entertaining, so now you've been warned.
Schedule a tune up around May 1st - ride at least two more times before THE ride to make sure everything works great.
Find out what kind of spokes I have and if I need spares.
Investigate Cleat covers or replacement cleats. The cement chews them up and they don't work.
CLEAN MY BIKE like once a week or more. *Note, I've never cleaned my bike so I was feeling like a douche this entire lesson.
- important things about cleaning your bike: let it dry after you wash it. don't just LUBE up right away. don't spray with high pressure hose. most of your bike doesn't like water. never use WD40 on your bike. it's evil and will actually kill things you need to work. mechanics can tell and they will make fun of you. and they're usually good looking do you don't want them to make fun of you.
- clean your bike on the ride. this cuts down trips to the mechanic station and the mechanics will love you for it. of course, they wont know you at all if you never go to the station but they love you a lot more if you go there with smart questions and real problems, not to have your chain lubed, your tires pumped or your shaft washed (literally, not metaphorically).
PUMP UP YOUR TIRES
Low PSI is the number one cause of flat tires. The number two cause is hand pumps and idiots who break valves by using their hand pumps. HA! Who would do that? *Note: me
CO2 pumps are the way to go. Why? Apparently they fill your tire up to the perfect PSI. *Note: Lance Armstrong could not figure out how to use a CO2 pump so he just rode 10 miles on a flat tire to win some race recently. Bikers = Sexy.
FIXING FLATS
This part of class was a demonstration and I learned a bit more about the proper way to fix flats and pump up my tires. If you ever want a demonstration, I have to practice a bunch in the next few weeks and I'd be happy to show you. I'm also told I should get a spare tire just to make my life easier on the ride, should my tire get destroyed.
UPDATE on BSG
So Saturday was my big "get the gears fixed day" and I figured I'd head to Palms Cycle to say "hi" and check up on BSG.
BSG was chipper and looked fine but that fine was disguising what doctors are telling him is a "shattered collar bone". Broken in three places. Immobile and off his bike for 10 weeks.
Did I mention I'm glad I was born without the instinct to go fast?
So the bike is fixed, but no biking to report from this weekend, unfortunately.
BSG was chipper and looked fine but that fine was disguising what doctors are telling him is a "shattered collar bone". Broken in three places. Immobile and off his bike for 10 weeks.
Did I mention I'm glad I was born without the instinct to go fast?
So the bike is fixed, but no biking to report from this weekend, unfortunately.
Friday, April 9, 2010
"Oh yea, I've totally thought about doing a triathalon."
The following is the story of my Topanga Canyon Ride on Easter Sunday.
FLASHBACK:
March 28, 2010
Palms Cycle
Bike Shop Guy (BSG) "Hey we're doing a group ride every Sunday, you guys should come check it out"
Me "Sweet. What time? Will it be hard?"
BSG "Ha. No, we're lazy bikers here. Probably just 30 miles, no hills."
FLASH FORWARD:
BSG: "Hey, you're that USC girl from last week right? Glad you could make it out."
Me: "Uh, yea, that's me. I fixed my tire so that shouldn't cause any awkwardness between us anymore right . . . anyway, so where are we riding today?"
BSG: "Topanga Canyon"
Me: "Oh cool, that's pretty easy right?
BSG: "Yeah it's not too bad at all, I'm lazy remember and I'm a little hungover because I went out for Chinese food and I promised my girlfriend I'd pick up dinner for her but then I got to talking to my friends and the kitchen closed so I got in trouble and sat on the couch to drink beer all night long."
Me: "Awesome. So who else is riding?"
BSG: "Well, you, me, and these guys here. Guy1 is a triathlete just coming off an injury. Guy 2, he's a professional cyclist and racer. Guy 3, he does both. So how long have you been riding?"
Me: "Fuck"
I promptly sent the following text to Sunny: "At Palms Cycle. Me and 4 boys. God I wish you were here. I am so fucked."
Sunny's response: "Have fun"
And then we were off.
Thought 1. Mile 1.
Hmmm . . . these guys are all pretty tall and that guy's thighs are as big as my waist.
Thought 2. Mile 2.
These guys are moving pretty fast. I have to keep up.
Thought 3. Mile 3.
Bringing up the rear isn't so bad. At least get to look at all their assess while I'm trying to keep up.
Thought 4. Mile 4.
I wonder if they think my butt looks good in these shorts.
Thought 5. Mile 5.
These guys are moving pretty fast. I really, really have to keep up.
Though 6. Mile 6.
Seriously, these guys are moving pretty fast. I wonder where we are and where we are going. Where is Topanga Canyon anyway.
Thought 7. Mile 7.
No wedding rings. I wonder if I have blueberry bagel in my teeth.
Thought 8. Mile 8.
Don't look down now, but you have creme cheese all over your chest from that bagel. You should have figured that out at least an hour ago.
Thought 9. Mile 9.
Hmmm . . . We made it to PCH. That's funny. Why are we at the beach? Also, riding on a highway is not fun. This is not relaxing. Please drive carefully everyone. Also, these guys are moving pretty fast. I should really keep up.
Thought 10. Mile 10.
I really wish my lower gears didn't just break.
Though 11. Mile 11.
Hmm . . . moving away from the beach on Topanga Canyon Road. Good thing we're not doing hills, I'm pretty tired and sore from yesterday.
Thought 12. Mile 12.
Death. I want to die. I hate you bike guy. I hate you Guys1-3. Fuck you all. Ow. Fuck. Ow. Hate. Pain. Hate. Death. Hate. Pain. Hate. Ow. Don't stop pedaling. Ow. Death. Pain. Hate. Death. Ow. I hope they wait for me at the top of this hill because I don't know where I am. Die. Hate. Pain. Pain. Pain. I really wish my lower gears worked. Death. Pain. Hate. Pain.
FLASH FORWARD to an HOUR LATER
Guy 1: "Hey you made it"
Me: "Go f*** yourself!"
(okay I didn't actually say that)
Guy 1: "Glad you made it to the top. We're taking a bigger hill home. You can do it.
Me: "Awesome. I'm doing great. I can totally handle this. I mean, that hill was tough but boy I feel accomplished"
(what I actually said, like the total dork I am)
FLASH FORWARD another HOUR
Pete: "You guys should really slow down on the decline. We've seen so many people wreck on this corner."
BSG: "Yeah, I don't even know what happened."
Mimi: "Do you want me to call an ambulance?"
BSG: "No, I just want to lay down."
Me: "Ummm, I think you're missing several square inches of your ass . . . "
Pete: "Oh yeah, just last week I pulled about 10 bikers out of a pile up. Not all of them made it. I mean, they made it down in a hearse is what I mean."
Me: "So Pete, what do you do?"
Me on the inside: "PANIC PANIC PANIC How do I get off this hill without having to ride my bike down? PANIC OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. SLOW DOWN EVERYONE DRIVING BY"
Pete: "I work in the industry. Mimi tutors french."
Police Officer 1: "Hey there, are you the guys involved in the wreck? We just got word of a car over the cliff at the top of this hill?"
BSG: Shakes head no.
Me on the inside: "PANIC PANIC PANIC. Mmmm. A Cliff Bar. PANIC PANIC PANIC.
Guy 1: "We'll take Sepulveda home."
FLASH FORWARD another Hour
BSG is safe in his gf's arms on the way to the hospital. Don't worry. He's fine. He just happened to be flying down the downhill parts of Topanga at a cool 35 mph when he drifted into the side of a cliff and lost his traction on some minor land side rubble. Two good kart wheels later he landed "safely" in Mimi's garden, his bike 10 yards down the road, his helmet 2 yards up the road. I, of course, witnessed none of this since I was coasting down Old Topanga Canyon at a cool 15 mph. Like a GIRL. A SAFE and HEALTHY GIRL with 4 working limbs. Seriously though. Topanga Canyon is beautiful but I did not need to hear about all the people who have died riding their bikes there as a novice biker. Seriously.
Now we're headed what I am told will be "downhill the rest of the way home" and what ends up being "uphill for the next two hours."
Me on the outside this time "F*** you guys."
Seriously. I can't even begin to describe the sheer desperation and pain that I was experiencing while trying to ride these hills at 15mph in the wrong gear. All I can say is that the most beautiful part of the hill is the top because that's when you know you get to go down the rest of the way. Unless that hill is Sepulveda. Sepulveda has a wind tunnel at the top of the hill in which you have to pedal as hard and as fast as you can to go 1 mph. At the end of the wind tunnel is an amazing and beautiful down hill ride which would be AWESOME save the 30 mph winds which require you to PEDAL HARDER than you had to when you were going up the damn hill. Is that even possible? Yes. It's effing possible and it is the worst experience in the world.
FAST FORWARD to 3:00pm.
Palms Cycle.
Guy 1: "Hey that was fun. You did a good job. You should come back."
Me: "Thanks. I hate you."
(not what I actually said)
Me: "Thanks, I'm not free next Sunday but maybe the weekend after."
(what I actually said)
Me: "Hi Sunny. We made it. I hate everyone and I want sushi NOW. Meet me at Niko Niko."
Sunny: "Uh, ok"
Me: "Hi Sunny. Niko Niko appears to be closed and I might kill something. Consider yourself warned."
Sunny: "Uh oh, ok"
FAST FORWARD to SUNDAY NIGHT
My house.
Hot date.
Not with a triathlete.
Me: "Hey I rode up a canyon today. It sucked. Want to see the bicycle seat shaped black and blue bruise on my ass?"
Hot Date: "Ummmmmm. No. [Awkward Silence] It's $17.50 for the pizza, maam."
6 hours. 50 miles. Not Fun. If I had done this before signing up for ALC9 I would never ever sign up for ALC9. Of course, I'm hardly a quitter, so onward we go. 57 days of training left.
FLASHBACK:
March 28, 2010
Palms Cycle
Bike Shop Guy (BSG) "Hey we're doing a group ride every Sunday, you guys should come check it out"
Me "Sweet. What time? Will it be hard?"
BSG "Ha. No, we're lazy bikers here. Probably just 30 miles, no hills."
FLASH FORWARD:
BSG: "Hey, you're that USC girl from last week right? Glad you could make it out."
Me: "Uh, yea, that's me. I fixed my tire so that shouldn't cause any awkwardness between us anymore right . . . anyway, so where are we riding today?"
BSG: "Topanga Canyon"
Me: "Oh cool, that's pretty easy right?
BSG: "Yeah it's not too bad at all, I'm lazy remember and I'm a little hungover because I went out for Chinese food and I promised my girlfriend I'd pick up dinner for her but then I got to talking to my friends and the kitchen closed so I got in trouble and sat on the couch to drink beer all night long."
Me: "Awesome. So who else is riding?"
BSG: "Well, you, me, and these guys here. Guy1 is a triathlete just coming off an injury. Guy 2, he's a professional cyclist and racer. Guy 3, he does both. So how long have you been riding?"
Me: "Fuck"
I promptly sent the following text to Sunny: "At Palms Cycle. Me and 4 boys. God I wish you were here. I am so fucked."
Sunny's response: "Have fun"
And then we were off.
Thought 1. Mile 1.
Hmmm . . . these guys are all pretty tall and that guy's thighs are as big as my waist.
Thought 2. Mile 2.
These guys are moving pretty fast. I have to keep up.
Thought 3. Mile 3.
Bringing up the rear isn't so bad. At least get to look at all their assess while I'm trying to keep up.
Thought 4. Mile 4.
I wonder if they think my butt looks good in these shorts.
Thought 5. Mile 5.
These guys are moving pretty fast. I really, really have to keep up.
Though 6. Mile 6.
Seriously, these guys are moving pretty fast. I wonder where we are and where we are going. Where is Topanga Canyon anyway.
Thought 7. Mile 7.
No wedding rings. I wonder if I have blueberry bagel in my teeth.
Thought 8. Mile 8.
Don't look down now, but you have creme cheese all over your chest from that bagel. You should have figured that out at least an hour ago.
Thought 9. Mile 9.
Hmmm . . . We made it to PCH. That's funny. Why are we at the beach? Also, riding on a highway is not fun. This is not relaxing. Please drive carefully everyone. Also, these guys are moving pretty fast. I should really keep up.
Thought 10. Mile 10.
I really wish my lower gears didn't just break.
Though 11. Mile 11.
Hmm . . . moving away from the beach on Topanga Canyon Road. Good thing we're not doing hills, I'm pretty tired and sore from yesterday.
Thought 12. Mile 12.
Death. I want to die. I hate you bike guy. I hate you Guys1-3. Fuck you all. Ow. Fuck. Ow. Hate. Pain. Hate. Death. Hate. Pain. Hate. Ow. Don't stop pedaling. Ow. Death. Pain. Hate. Death. Ow. I hope they wait for me at the top of this hill because I don't know where I am. Die. Hate. Pain. Pain. Pain. I really wish my lower gears worked. Death. Pain. Hate. Pain.
FLASH FORWARD to an HOUR LATER
Guy 1: "Hey you made it"
Me: "Go f*** yourself!"
(okay I didn't actually say that)
Guy 1: "Glad you made it to the top. We're taking a bigger hill home. You can do it.
Me: "Awesome. I'm doing great. I can totally handle this. I mean, that hill was tough but boy I feel accomplished"
(what I actually said, like the total dork I am)
FLASH FORWARD another HOUR
Pete: "You guys should really slow down on the decline. We've seen so many people wreck on this corner."
BSG: "Yeah, I don't even know what happened."
Mimi: "Do you want me to call an ambulance?"
BSG: "No, I just want to lay down."
Me: "Ummm, I think you're missing several square inches of your ass . . . "
Pete: "Oh yeah, just last week I pulled about 10 bikers out of a pile up. Not all of them made it. I mean, they made it down in a hearse is what I mean."
Me: "So Pete, what do you do?"
Me on the inside: "PANIC PANIC PANIC How do I get off this hill without having to ride my bike down? PANIC OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. SLOW DOWN EVERYONE DRIVING BY"
Pete: "I work in the industry. Mimi tutors french."
Police Officer 1: "Hey there, are you the guys involved in the wreck? We just got word of a car over the cliff at the top of this hill?"
BSG: Shakes head no.
Me on the inside: "PANIC PANIC PANIC. Mmmm. A Cliff Bar. PANIC PANIC PANIC.
Guy 1: "We'll take Sepulveda home."
FLASH FORWARD another Hour
BSG is safe in his gf's arms on the way to the hospital. Don't worry. He's fine. He just happened to be flying down the downhill parts of Topanga at a cool 35 mph when he drifted into the side of a cliff and lost his traction on some minor land side rubble. Two good kart wheels later he landed "safely" in Mimi's garden, his bike 10 yards down the road, his helmet 2 yards up the road. I, of course, witnessed none of this since I was coasting down Old Topanga Canyon at a cool 15 mph. Like a GIRL. A SAFE and HEALTHY GIRL with 4 working limbs. Seriously though. Topanga Canyon is beautiful but I did not need to hear about all the people who have died riding their bikes there as a novice biker. Seriously.
Now we're headed what I am told will be "downhill the rest of the way home" and what ends up being "uphill for the next two hours."
Me on the outside this time "F*** you guys."
Seriously. I can't even begin to describe the sheer desperation and pain that I was experiencing while trying to ride these hills at 15mph in the wrong gear. All I can say is that the most beautiful part of the hill is the top because that's when you know you get to go down the rest of the way. Unless that hill is Sepulveda. Sepulveda has a wind tunnel at the top of the hill in which you have to pedal as hard and as fast as you can to go 1 mph. At the end of the wind tunnel is an amazing and beautiful down hill ride which would be AWESOME save the 30 mph winds which require you to PEDAL HARDER than you had to when you were going up the damn hill. Is that even possible? Yes. It's effing possible and it is the worst experience in the world.
FAST FORWARD to 3:00pm.
Palms Cycle.
Guy 1: "Hey that was fun. You did a good job. You should come back."
Me: "Thanks. I hate you."
(not what I actually said)
Me: "Thanks, I'm not free next Sunday but maybe the weekend after."
(what I actually said)
Me: "Hi Sunny. We made it. I hate everyone and I want sushi NOW. Meet me at Niko Niko."
Sunny: "Uh, ok"
Me: "Hi Sunny. Niko Niko appears to be closed and I might kill something. Consider yourself warned."
Sunny: "Uh oh, ok"
FAST FORWARD to SUNDAY NIGHT
My house.
Hot date.
Not with a triathlete.
Me: "Hey I rode up a canyon today. It sucked. Want to see the bicycle seat shaped black and blue bruise on my ass?"
Hot Date: "Ummmmmm. No. [Awkward Silence] It's $17.50 for the pizza, maam."
6 hours. 50 miles. Not Fun. If I had done this before signing up for ALC9 I would never ever sign up for ALC9. Of course, I'm hardly a quitter, so onward we go. 57 days of training left.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
How to change a bike tire.
1) Get a flat tire. Or, if you're me, manage to break the valve so that the whole holding air mechanism thingy just won't hold air.
2) Find KDom who is handy and ask very nicely for help at 7:30am in the morning on a Saturday. (Thank you thank you thank you thank you.)
3) Watch and learn.
Turns out that changing a tire is not that hard. I would not have been able to figure out the whole chain situation on my own, but I think moving forward, I can make it work. This is good news and a big step. Woot.Here we are on April 3rd, early in the morning. My goal for the day - 102 miles, or double the LA Bikeway Loop that starts and ends in the lovely town of Long Beach, CA.
My only time constraint is a 7pm date with Puerto Rico in Glendale.
My only problems were:
1) It took me an hour to get my bike into my beetle (but I only cut myself once, so that's good).
2) When I finally got my car out of the garage it blew up at me - red flashy lights and the kind of loud noises that make you regret owning a car. HUGE SHOUT OUT here to Nelson Curz at the VW dealership who not only remembered me from three weeks ago but stopped everything to check out my car and the coolant system (FOR FREE) to get my on my way in time to still get in a good ride. Nelson, you sir, are a good man.3) When I finally got my car out of the shop I had to find Long Beach. Yes, I've been there hundreds of times. Yes, I have a GPS. No, I couldn't find Long Beach.
4) When I finally found LBC, I had to get on the right bike path. Note that in the lovely Shoreline Village there are 4 different options for bike paths.
I picked incorrectly three times. The good news about picking wrong is I happened on a bathroom. The bad news about going to the bathroom is that apparently it's really hard to get back on your bike afterward and you might fall down after you clip in, in front of a 20 something on his cell phone who might come up and ask you if you're ok when you really just want him to not exist. Yes, I'm that awesome. Yes, it's terrible to be alone when you're embarrassing yourself. Sunny, have I told you yet today how much I miss you?5) When I finally stand up and shake the remnants of my pride off of myself, I can start on the right path with a bruised and throbbing right knee, with equal parts frustration and excitement.
The first 2 miles is all along the Long Beach shoreline, shops and roller coasters and some random street racing track being set up in the wee hours (10:45) of Saturday morning.
The next 12 miles are all LA "River" bike path until you hit the Rio Honde "River" bike path. The day and the scenery are amazing. I was enjoying riding with my mouth open and collecting thousands (literally) of gnats as protein. I learned this from Bear Grylls, so it's OK.
Another 10 miles or so and you hit east LA and the wonderful Whittier Dam and Whittier Narrows. Up until now, I was doing great. I hadn't run over any lizards at this point (which BTW are worse than squirrels as far as running out into the path just before you get there). I rode past some cowboys on horses with cute dogs. I spent some time admiring flowers and a gazillion amazing birds. But then I got lost and spent the next 10 miles riding in circles in a pile of frustration and knee pain.
Here's the thing. Directions (which I had) might mean Right when they say Left. Just keep that in mind.
So after a 10 mile addition to my ride in east Los Angeles, I finally found the San Gabrielle "River" bike path which I would get to stay on until I hit the beach again. I was elated for about three minutes until I realized that the next 20 miles would include biking into strong headwinds coming off the water . . . seriously, I have never worked so hard for such a small reward in my entire life. I'm going to say that I was angry. Very angry. I will also say that I saw a wonderful hummingbird sitting on a fence. That was nice. Also, lots of beautiful peaks into people's back yards which are full of gardens, horses, goats, a few pigs and some of the amazing and beautiful piles of rusting things that I have ever seen.
Past the housing is all industrial wasteland. Equally beautiful in it's own way. I was shooting all these pictures from my hip (where I tied my camera to my belt) so I hope you're enjoying my bike's POV.Anyway, after three of the most miserable hours of my life riding into the wind, I made it back to the beach.
As much as I wanted to do 100 miles, 
I gave up and decided to get a churro. Mmmm.And that's that. Biking was fun for a while, and then really, really uncomfortable and miserable. But once it was over I felt great and I had a churro. I also wandered the beach front taking pictures and enjoying an extra hour in the sunshine.
How not to change a tire.
So the good news is I've been doing more riding than blog posting.
March 28th, 2010 I woke up with the very best intentions to ride to the LA "River" in downtown LA and follow the "river" path to Long Beach and back.
One of my favorite parts about riding my bike around Los Angeles is the opportunity to experience neighborhoods that I would otherwise never really venture into. To get to the LA "River" from my house, I had to head east - through the fashion district, the pinata district and the homeless district. There are very few things more humbling at 10am on a perfect Sunday in your perfect life than riding your pretty new bike through blocks and blocks of the homeless, starving, sad, addicted, dirty, tired and otherwise hopeless and helpless community of LA. I can't imagine myself in that situation so I end up with pretty mixed feelings about all of it. On one hand I am deeply saddened by the poverty and the palpable broken human spirits. On the other hand I find myself rejecting the idea of homelessness as something that only happens to people who let it happen to them, people who can't work with the system, people who let themselves get beat by life. Of course this does not work for those people who have no predisposed place in the system like the disabled and mentally ill . . . all this to say that biking affords a lot of time to think and it was both beautiful and heartbreaking to ride past people who have nothing when my biggest concern in life is getting a flat tire on my bike. Bah.
SO past the homeless district is this magical place in Los Angeles that I did not know existed . . . it's the industrial district . . . three miles of open road without a single car or human in sight. Just boarded up warehouse after boarded up warehouse and some of the most beautiful graffiti I have ever seen.
And once you get past all the abandoned buildings you come to a thriving LA landfill just adjacent to the LA "River", which has no bike path in sight.
So now my options are ride along the waterfront and abandoned buildings and landfills (you know, places where little girls disappear in every CSI episode) or turn around and find a new adventure. Doing only what I know best, I about faced on Olympic and set my mind on riding to Sunshine's new house.
Olympic is a beautiful stretch of road and has fewer pot holes than Vermont, so I was happy with this new direction. Even more fun was that Olympic eventually runs directly into Beverly Hills. Sometimes, I think BH is an even more depressing and hopeless place to be than the homeless district. Of course, people here have everything they could ever need and then some as far as, you know, homes and food. . . but much like the homeless, people here feel lost and broken. These two extremes exist less than 10 miles apart and might as well be on totally different planets, yet they have so much in common. This will never cease to amaze me. Seriously, we're talking an 89 cent different in gas prices.
Anyway, I'm thinking I'm headed to Olympic and Overland and taking Overland south to Sunny. Of course the map in my head is not the map in reality and this takes me much further north than I was anticipating. In fact, I wasn't actually sure that Overland and Olympic intersect . . . but they do. So I stopped there to call Sunny, who was thinking of going to a movie. FAIL. So I pump up my tires and head home.
But instead of getting home, I get a mile away and have to pump up my back tire again, and head home.
But instead of getting home, I get a half mile away and have to pump up my tire again. And by pump up my tire I mean call Sunny to come pick me up. I then proceeded to fall asleep on top of my bike in the grass to work on my sexy (and I do mean sexy) bike shorts tan.
FAIL.
Sunny kindly takes me to Palms Cycle to get my tire fixed.
The FANtastic folks at the bike shop (which is filled with attractive men BTW) offer to teach us how to change my tire. YAY! We need this. Of course, we also need the key to my tires since they are not quick release due to a serious bike theft problem in Los Angeles. FAIL.
The good news is that I look so good in my bike shorts that no one at the shop laughed at me for my epic fail, except everyone. Sigh.
I made it about 17 miles on my bike.
Win.
March 28th, 2010 I woke up with the very best intentions to ride to the LA "River" in downtown LA and follow the "river" path to Long Beach and back.
One of my favorite parts about riding my bike around Los Angeles is the opportunity to experience neighborhoods that I would otherwise never really venture into. To get to the LA "River" from my house, I had to head east - through the fashion district, the pinata district and the homeless district. There are very few things more humbling at 10am on a perfect Sunday in your perfect life than riding your pretty new bike through blocks and blocks of the homeless, starving, sad, addicted, dirty, tired and otherwise hopeless and helpless community of LA. I can't imagine myself in that situation so I end up with pretty mixed feelings about all of it. On one hand I am deeply saddened by the poverty and the palpable broken human spirits. On the other hand I find myself rejecting the idea of homelessness as something that only happens to people who let it happen to them, people who can't work with the system, people who let themselves get beat by life. Of course this does not work for those people who have no predisposed place in the system like the disabled and mentally ill . . . all this to say that biking affords a lot of time to think and it was both beautiful and heartbreaking to ride past people who have nothing when my biggest concern in life is getting a flat tire on my bike. Bah.
SO past the homeless district is this magical place in Los Angeles that I did not know existed . . . it's the industrial district . . . three miles of open road without a single car or human in sight. Just boarded up warehouse after boarded up warehouse and some of the most beautiful graffiti I have ever seen.
And once you get past all the abandoned buildings you come to a thriving LA landfill just adjacent to the LA "River", which has no bike path in sight.
So now my options are ride along the waterfront and abandoned buildings and landfills (you know, places where little girls disappear in every CSI episode) or turn around and find a new adventure. Doing only what I know best, I about faced on Olympic and set my mind on riding to Sunshine's new house.
Olympic is a beautiful stretch of road and has fewer pot holes than Vermont, so I was happy with this new direction. Even more fun was that Olympic eventually runs directly into Beverly Hills. Sometimes, I think BH is an even more depressing and hopeless place to be than the homeless district. Of course, people here have everything they could ever need and then some as far as, you know, homes and food. . . but much like the homeless, people here feel lost and broken. These two extremes exist less than 10 miles apart and might as well be on totally different planets, yet they have so much in common. This will never cease to amaze me. Seriously, we're talking an 89 cent different in gas prices.
Anyway, I'm thinking I'm headed to Olympic and Overland and taking Overland south to Sunny. Of course the map in my head is not the map in reality and this takes me much further north than I was anticipating. In fact, I wasn't actually sure that Overland and Olympic intersect . . . but they do. So I stopped there to call Sunny, who was thinking of going to a movie. FAIL. So I pump up my tires and head home.
But instead of getting home, I get a mile away and have to pump up my back tire again, and head home.
But instead of getting home, I get a half mile away and have to pump up my tire again. And by pump up my tire I mean call Sunny to come pick me up. I then proceeded to fall asleep on top of my bike in the grass to work on my sexy (and I do mean sexy) bike shorts tan.
FAIL.
Sunny kindly takes me to Palms Cycle to get my tire fixed.
The FANtastic folks at the bike shop (which is filled with attractive men BTW) offer to teach us how to change my tire. YAY! We need this. Of course, we also need the key to my tires since they are not quick release due to a serious bike theft problem in Los Angeles. FAIL.
The good news is that I look so good in my bike shorts that no one at the shop laughed at me for my epic fail, except everyone. Sigh.
I made it about 17 miles on my bike.
Win.
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