Looks like the guy who did this last used too much lube. - Mr. Bike Guy

Might as well just admit right now that I have a childish sense of humor and live in the state of awkward about 92% of the time. As a result, I giggle at immature things, can't always express myself correctly, and really appreciate when other people are also awkward. Judge me if you must.

Bike Shopping:

I purchased my new bike this weekend. Like any good shopping trip that I'm involved in, I ended up in a pile of misery and tears - atop, at least, a new bike.

As luck would have it, I ended up with a sales tech, Mr. Bike Guy, who just graduated from USC (Electrical Engineering) and started working at the bike shop less than a week ago. He was nervous and awkward and cute in an EE sort of way and it made my day. It also took me 4 hours to test 4 bikes. Unfortunately, it only took me 5 minutes to learn that he has a GF.

At least we learned that the bike shop is a great place to hang out and watch attractive men search for tight clothing, pumps, and something the in-the-know-ers call butt butter.  :)

Future me: "Uh yeah, I know it's a new bike but it just keeps breaking. I don't know what's wrong with it, I'm just glad you folks are always here to help me fix it. Also I'm out of butt butter."

Here's the thing about wearing make up and cute outfits to try and get discounts on a new bike . . . it only works if six year old girls don't make statements like "Mommy, that girl has the same helmet I have!" For public record, I love you pink flower print helmet, and I wont give you up just to look my age.

If that wasn't bad enough, a number of people had to offer me counsel on vanity, which is generally something I like to pretend I don't have. That is to say, I found two bikes that I really loved. 1 was a pretty red color, close enough that no one would challenge my undying commitment to USC football. 1 was light blue, a hideous, ugly, evil, stupid, pathetic, unfun, full of hate, color that can only suggest allegiances to horrible bRuins. 1 was 25% the cost of the other 1.

Enter anxiety and panic. I can spend money like a champ when I'm trying to stuff material things into the cracks of my soul but when I'm otherwise emotionally stable, I send my spare change into my investment accounts with a great deal of joy. I'm a saver by nature. (Read: Instead of retiring into a retirement community and maybe eventually a nursing home, I am setting myself up to retire into a colony of attractive young males who, for tips, will rub my feet and paint my toe nails).

Enter dilemma. Buy the more expensive pretty bike. Or buy the bike of the devil and save the cash for something more important than paint.

Enter tears. I chose the blue bike because I feel like saving the money and not admitting such vanity was the right thing to do. I wept because spending money is hard for me. I wept because I felt like a terrible Trojan. I wept because the light blue hues were making my eyes bleed.

I bought my new bike 4 days ago and already three people have told me to send it back because it's tainted.

Enter resolve. I absolutely love my new bike. I think it's the greatest thing I own right now and I'm stoked to get out and ride it to some place that isn't work. It needs some sticker love or a USC horn or something before I can go riding on the west side, but we're going to get along fine.

On Monday I went back to the shop to get fitted and pick out pedals and shoes. While I will mostly protest being a girly girl my entire life, I have to admit, I got freakishly excited when I got the shoes. Sigh. Shoes.