Dirty hands for Dirty Minds: Meeting the Bike Techs

So in place of bike riding this weekend, I spent a rainy Monday in class.

Bike Tech 101.

This class was being offered by the fab folks at I Martin Bikes on Beverly Blvd. I fell in love with just about everyone there instantly. As suspected originally, bike shops are crawling with really attractive, fit, straight men - many of whom have very dirty greasy man hands from geeking out in the shop and fixing bikes all day long.

I can not really express enough how amazingly sexy good man hands can be - hands that are strong and can fix things around the house - hands that are a little bit rough and calloused - hands that are tan and yummy . . .

So, I'm enjoying this.

On top of the hands around this place, our Bike Tech 101 instructor looks exactly like Daniel Faraday (it's a LOST thing, you'd get it if you were in "the know"). LOST lookalike is like and extra 20 points on the cute-o-meter.

So, now I'm invested in listening to what he has to say.

And I quote:

"I cannot overstate how important it is to lube up before you ride. I could literally talk to you all day long about lube. I can tell you how to pick a good lube, apply often and stick with your lube of choice. Don't mix lubes because you might get a chemical reaction you were not expecting. You can over-lube so it's okay to be conservative. You don't need to lube your nipples but you can rub lemon pledge on them once a week or so."

So, now I'm looking at him like "If you say lube one more time I'm going to throw down." I suppose he may have caught me giving him that look because he was hard pressed to make eye contact for the rest of the night.

On the plus side, he did sell me on some lube.

Lube. (hehehe)

Yup. Bike Tech 101 is awesome.

Here are a few more things that I learned that are useful bits of info. I'm writing them down so I remember them since I need to take care of a fair bit of this before my ride. It's more practical and less entertaining, so now you've been warned.

Schedule a tune up around May 1st - ride at least two more times before THE ride to make sure everything works great.

Find out what kind of spokes I have and if I need spares.

Investigate Cleat covers or replacement cleats. The cement chews them up and they don't work.

CLEAN MY BIKE like once a week or more. *Note, I've never cleaned my bike so I was feeling like a douche this entire lesson.
- important things about cleaning your bike: let it dry after you wash it. don't just LUBE up right away. don't spray with high pressure hose. most of your bike doesn't like water. never use WD40 on your bike. it's evil and will actually kill things you need to work. mechanics can tell and they will make fun of you. and they're usually good looking do you don't want them to make fun of you.
- clean your bike on the ride. this cuts down trips to the mechanic station and the mechanics will love you for it. of course, they wont know you at all if you never go to the station but they love you a lot more if you go there with smart questions and real problems, not to have your chain lubed, your tires pumped or your shaft washed (literally, not metaphorically).

PUMP UP YOUR TIRES
Low PSI is the number one cause of flat tires. The number two cause is hand pumps and idiots who break valves by using their hand pumps. HA! Who would do that? *Note: me
CO2 pumps are the way to go. Why? Apparently they fill your tire up to the perfect PSI. *Note: Lance Armstrong could not figure out how to use a CO2 pump so he just rode 10 miles on a flat tire to win some race recently. Bikers = Sexy.

FIXING FLATS
This part of class was a demonstration and I learned a bit more about the proper way to fix flats and pump up my tires. If you ever want a demonstration, I have to practice a bunch in the next few weeks and I'd be happy to show you. I'm also told I should get a spare tire just to make my life easier on the ride, should my tire get destroyed.